when i’m stressed or frustrated, i often find myself wanting to do NOTHING but read or watch movies. let me also add, read fiction novels and watch action/romance movies. it’s the adventure, the excitement, the proactive CHANGE that speaks to me. it’s also my form of escapism from the drudgery/realities of life.
of course, that is the whole reason behind these mediums (and most especially, these genres). when there’s even a small break in my focus, i can spiral out of control and fall helplessly and hopelessly into escaping my obligations. at this moment in time, that’s grad school work: thesis development, research, etc.
i miss when i actually had free time to pursue these things weekly. i miss when i had the resources to indulge in them. i miss the freedom of, i guess, being restricted with a staid, hourly job and lifestyle.
i know i chose the right path in the long run. the safe job wouldn’t have been emotionally sustainable because i would not have felt satisfaction (or pride) in my work. that most of my day would have been dreaded and annoying. i do enjoy that i am challenged to learn and pursue and create. but damn. there are those times. there are those times i miss stability and predictability.
okay. rant done. back to work.